


concussions&stupidity

by lutzaussi



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Concussions, Fluff, M/M, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutzaussi/pseuds/lutzaussi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy is many things. One of those things is: stupid. Another is: the perpetual overlord of bad timing. Like, in the middle of a medical check-up level of bad timing.</p>
<p>(do not tell me that they wouldn't call each other 'brah' it's basically canon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	concussions&stupidity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mylittleuboa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylittleuboa/gifts).



It had started when the Hunters of Artemis had shown up at the camp. Thalia had immediately begun schmoozing on Jason, which only meant bad things. Then, Percy had also appeared and started schmoozing, which meant that the world was probably going to explode into flames at any given second. The trust he had placed in both of them before was obliterated.

So the Hunters had some animals to kill—whatever, that was just day in the life for them. But Thalia said they needed help.

Just that.

No mention of what animal they were hunting, how dangerous it would be, nor, hell, what _type_ of help they needed!

The Hunters of Artemis merely crash-landed him and Percy in the middle of the savannah, which was perplexing because they were still in North America, but then Thalia turned to both of them, blank-faced, and said, “Start running. They’ll only hunt males.”

Hoo boy, was Jason glad he had been working on his stamina. Percy was also doing pretty well, considering that he was Percy. At least, they were doing pretty well until the lions started following them.

Really, all Jason could think was, " _Why the hell is he humming The Lion King and giving me suggestive eyebrows when we're trying not to be eaten by lions_?" But that didn't matter. Surviving did. Especially when the lions chasing them had _gold fur_.

The only other lion with gold fur that Jason knew of was the Nemean lion, and Heracles had to strangle that sucker before it died. That was not a challenge Jason was willing to take on, and Percy was having too great of a time to try and kill anything. Jason knew that he had to do something before they were both eaten.

Saying a silent prayer to whatever gods were listening, he grabbed Percy around the waist and let the winds take them both. Talia was probably going to bitch him out about it, but the lions had been so close on their heels that he could feel their breath. On the upside, Percy had stopped humming. On the downside, he looked like he was going to puke on Jason’s feet.

Jason swung around, trying to get his bearings straight, and flew right into a tree. Hard.

By that, Percy was the one to slam into the tree, right in the head. It was sort of a relief, though, because Jason knew that Percy had basically the thickest skull of any human or demigod ever. Jason took them down to one of the lower branches, scouted for lions and didn’t find them.

He landed them on the ground, and could hear the distant horns of the Hunters signaling a kill. Percy—Percy was having trouble standing, so Jason kept an arm around him.

“Jase, Jaaase,” Percy giggled, poking Jason’s cheek, “d’ou know why I call you m’brah?”

“No, Percy, why do you call me that?” it was partly to keep him talking, partly to humor him, and partly because his own interest had been piqued.

“B’cause,” he dragged Jason’s face closer and god _damn_ his breath smelled like the Cheetos as he said, “b’cause you _support_ me.”

Jason looked up from Percy’s laughing, hysterical face just in time to see Thalia and two other Hunters file toward them. “I-I broke him,” he said, arms still full of the other demigod.

“Cute,” Thalia paused, “can it wait until you get back to Camp? Lady Artemis requested our presence after the lions were slayed.”

“How are we gonna—?”

“Check it,” Sipriotes snapped her hands into finger guns, pointed to a silver chariot drawn by a black Pegasus that appeared out of freaking nowhere right beside her. “Chariot. I’ll fly you two back, just keep your hands to yourselves.”

“Understood,” Jason nodded. He was hoping Percy still had at least one neuron in his tiny brain firing, and so could understand what the girl said. Thalia helped load Percy into the chariot, and saluted them as they dragged through the tall grass.

“See you later, Jase!” she yelled, and Jason could only wave goodbye.

Sipriotes drove them hella fast, and before they knew it they were back at Camp Halfblood. The Hunter didn’t even wait to see them off, but took off as soon as they stepped out of the chariot, knocking over a knot of small children of Hermes. It was still a reasonable time, so the first place Jason went was the Infirmary, Percy following him only because they were holding hands.

“Will. Will!” Jason called as soon as they got into the building. “Yo, Solace, you here?”

The son of Apollo looked up from the stack of Mythomagic cards he was sorting (probably from Nico), asked, “’sup, Grace?”

“Percy’s brain broke,” Jason swung around so that Percy would come into the room as well. “We—well, _he_ ran into a tree.”

Will got that look on his face that meant he didn’t understand but was still judging the both of them. “Well, sit him here. Let me get a light.”

He managed to strong arm Percy into a wooden chair, where the son of Poseidon’s head lolled around and he was seeming to have a difficult time focusing. “Eeey, Jase,” he slurred, “when did we get into spa-aaace?”

“I’m pretty sure he has a concussion,” Will said, sitting back down in his rolling chair. He asked Percy a series of questions before shining a pen light into each of Percy’s eyes. “Yeesh, dilation’s off. You ran into a tree? How the hell…?”

“Thalia. Please don’t ask.”

“Okay? I’m going to have Kayla make sure he doesn’t have brain damage and then he’s free to go—but since he has a pretty bad concussion he’ll need to be woken up every couple of hours whenever he goes to sleep,” Will points at Jason with the pen light, unintentionally blinding him. “That is your gods-damned problem, Grace. Kayla!”

They were out of the Infirmary after an agonizingly long time. Kayla sang over Percy, which took a while, and then had to sing over him again because she had thought of another song that would help the concussion heal quicker. And then Will stopped them again to remind Jason that Percy needed to come back in the morning.

Whatever. Jason was just glad to get out of there, force Percy to eat some blue Jell-O, and leave the public eye.

Annabeth helped him get Percy back to his cabin, listened to his tale of woe about the day.

“Well, I’m not helping you,” she said after he asked her to stay with Percy. They weren’t going out any more, but they were still super close and Jason thought she could do it. “Doesn’t Piper tell you anything? We’re heading over to New Rome to look at some of the plans Reyna has for the expansion.”

(all Jason could hear in his head was “blah, blah, I’m going to go make out with Reyna _and_ Piper, you’re on your own with Seaweed Brain whose brain has literally turned into seaweed, blah, blah.”)

So he was left alone with Percy, who was at the point where he only wanted to sleep. Which was fine with Jason, the boy was getting annoying because most of what he said wasn’t making any sense. But it was also _not_ fine because Jason had to stay up all. Night.

So he settled in with a thermos of black coffee that was half sugar and a massive annotated version of _Great Expectations_ that Annabeth had found in Greek.

Percy was a surprisingly good sport about being woken up every two hours, on the hour, to make sure that his brain wasn’t broken further. Though the process was arduous. And he wouldn’t stop spouting bullshit, like how he was in love with Jason and also did Jason know that Will and Nico were dating?

Well, Jason could half-believe the second one, because the other two demigods spent most of their time attached at the hip.

But really, Percy? In love with him? A stranger thing had never happened.

Will was waiting for them when, through some miracle, they finished eating breakfast. Percy was in the middle of having his eyes checked again when his eyes narrowed and he turned to Jason.

“Wait, did I confess to you last night and you did _nothing_ about it?” he demanded, ignoring Will’s futile requests for him to turn back around. “Brah, what the hell?”

“Dude, you were serious? I couldn’t freaking tell, brah, you have a concussion!” Jason finally brought himself to reply. Will dropped his head onto his desk with an audible, painful thud.

“Freakin—Jase! You are my _only_ brah!” Percy grabs his hands, looks at him with those beautiful, sparkling green eyes. “Dude, I am in love with you. That is most definitely not the concussion talking.”

“Perce—“

“Oh my _gods_ will you two disgusting losers get out of my Infirmary? Percy, you’re fine, don’t, er, overexert yourself. Jason, please don’t chuck him into a tree again. Please,” Will stood and shuffled them out of the building, “please go, I never want to hear the word ‘brah’ again.”

He slammed the door behind them. They somehow ended up holding hands, and Percy waggled his eyebrows at him, “Hey, Jase, wanna go make out?”

Jason considered that, considered the fact that Annabeth was currently getting twice as much booty as he currently was, said, “Hell yes. Let’s gross out the Ares cabin.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is for u sis i fucking hate you >:((((  
> also it probably doesn't make any sense because i just brain-barfed all over a word document and did no editing before copy-pasting it here  
> also holy shit it is so hard to spell seaweed you guys  
> follow me on tumblr @the-gloamglozer! you might have a choice in what i write next!


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